A Life Changing Experience

Utter chaos. I turned around, sighing and was shocked to see Lokeswari’s head bleeding. I found out

that two of the boys were fighting and this poor girl was caught between and hurt, as a result. I probably couldn’t have survived that day without a co-fellow who was kind enough to accompany us to the hospital where I held the girl’s hand while she was getting stitches on her head.

It had been just a few months since I started teaching at this school and those 4th grade kids were not

becoming any easier to handle. Monsters they all were. Impish, cute, innocent, troubled monsters. I

remember how, while growing up, I used to feel bad for the kids who went to Government schools

because they didn’t enjoy the luxuries I did at that stage. If only I knew that such luxuries were the least of their concerns!

Looking back at all my times in the classroom, I can’t help but smile. Those seven months taught me so much. Not just about kids, but even about myself. From being someone who could hardly catch the attention of a few students to silencing 53 brats when I wanted, I have come a long way.

I tried to teach the kids as many things as I could. Subjects, discipline, and love. Even now, I sometimes feel guilty that I may have pampered them a bit too much. But then again, I felt that those kids needed genuine love at least from someone. They deserved that.

From having to deal with broken homes, estranged parents to being on the receiving end of drunken

beatings, these kids deal with a lot more than I could have imagined before joining the school. In the

midst of all this, it was a real challenge for some of them to even attend school. How could we, as

teachers, reprimand them for low marks when they had so much more to put up with that even us

adults probably couldn’t deal with?

There were days when I felt completely useless. Forget not listening to me. The kids seemed to learn

nothing at all. I distinctly remember one day when I sat down depressed at the end of the day and

thought I had reached a dead end. But, you don’t give up. You just don’t. The kids deserve better.

As cliché as it sounds, there is nothing as unadulterated as the love you receive from a child. And I was lucky enough to be loved by so many of them. There was this one particularly notorious bunch of 5th grade boys I taught later on. I think one of the things I am proud of achieving in those few months is the fact that I broke through their walls and actually got them to listen to me. As I am writing this, I am reminded of a few days back when I had gone to school and these kids were so receptive to me and gave me a warm welcome as always.

Looking back, I still don’t know whether I was a good teacher or not. Most of the times, I was more of a friend than a teacher to the kids. But being just a volunteer, I am okay with that. I felt/feel that they need love and genuine care, from one person at least. In those few months, they taught me how to be happy for the smallest things, how to love wholeheartedly, and above all, how to never give up hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Most of them survive only with that hope.